


Star-crossed lovers

by Hellvis



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Don't Judge Me, Drinking, Drug Abuse, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, F/M, I Don't Even Know, Implied Relationships, One-Sided Attraction, Sexual Content, Smoking, Suicidal Thoughts, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-04
Updated: 2018-11-04
Packaged: 2019-08-17 16:33:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,696
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16520066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hellvis/pseuds/Hellvis
Summary: 'It is difficult to find happiness within oneself, but it is impossible to find it anywhere else'.





	Star-crossed lovers

**\- I -**

'That's all for today, next time we'll have a short multiple choice test to see if everything is clear so far'.  
Makoto lazily put her pen back in her old and consumed Buchimaru pencilcase and did her best to not yawning.  
She didn't want to admit it, but going to cram school was becoming more and more of a burden for her.  
She wanted to keep her grades up at all costs, but balancing her studied and her activities as a Phantom Thieves member was draining every ounce of her energy.  
It didn't help the fact that she wasn't even able to get some decent sleep lately.  
Unlike her teammates, the rising popularity of the Phantom Thieves was worrying her.  
On top of that the guilt she felt for lying to Sae was increasing day by day.  
The only thing she could do was enduring everything, hoping the day she would confront her sister wasn't so far as she thought.  
She sighed, _'If I keep overdoing like this, I will end up having a nervous break down'_  
She thought.  
She was trying everything to stay concentrated.  
_'I should ask Haru if she knows a kind of coffee that could help me from being so sleepy during the day'_  
She said to herself, starting to put her books in her bag.  
Suddenly, Makoto heard a voice calling her.  
"Makoto-san".  
She was so tired that she had to raise her gaze from her notebook in order to realize whose voice was it  
"Oh, it's you Akechi-kun, sorry I was lost in my thoughts"  
Goro smiled at her, gently.  
She sometimes forgot that they attended the same cram school.  
Mainly because he didn't attend every class and, when he did, he usually left in a hurry at the end of them.  
Not that she cared; actually the less she saw him around, the more she was relieved.  
She wasn't simply too fond of him, both for their history and his growing interess for Ren and the rest of the group.  
Makoto suspected for a while now that Goro was keeping an eye on them.  
It was way too strange that their group consisted of people that were all somehow linked to the Phantom Thieves' targets and Goro wasn't a fool.  
"Ah, you're studying Hegel, I see, a problematic author, to be honest"  
Goro took her notebook before she could even be able to say anything about it and started flipping through the pages.  
She was awere that it would have been better to put an end to their conversation as soon as possible.  
Neverthless, she couldn't stand his mannerism and being sleep deprived made her more nervous than usual. Eventually, her desire to humilate him in a debate was stronger than her rationality.  
Even though it was hard to believe, Makoto was the kind of person that is able to hold a grudge for ages.  
She couldn't simply get over of how Goro had potrayed her.  
Being described as a pushover made her so angry, especially when it came from someone like him. It was clear as the day that Akechi pretended all the time in public.  
His fake smiles, pleasentries and, most of all, his corny jokes... She found them unbearable.  
His façade as a perfect and well-mannered boy was so annoying.  
Truth to be told, she kind of liked him better when he insulted her after being provoked; he was being honest with himself after all.  
He didn't fake his reactions, for once.  
"Actually, I don't find Hegel so difficult to understand, he's not even that interesting, for that matter" she replied "I acknoledgde his importance in the History of philosophy, but I don't share most of his beliefs nor I approve them".  
_Not to mention the fact that he was extremely egocentric, just like you_ she wanted to add, but she didn't.  
Anyhow, to Makoto's discontent, Goro seemed amused by her response.  
A smirk showed up on his face.  
He was, indeed, very entertained by the whole situation.  
He didn't expect such an answer from her, actually he didn't expect an answer at all.  
Goro thought she would just asked him what he wanted, as politely as possibile.  
He had always noticed the annoyance that was hidden behind her kindness towards him.  
Hypocritically, Goro couldn't stand this attitude of her.  
He couldn't stand falsehood in general.  
That's why, if it had been possibile, if Makoto hadn't share his same power, He would have visited her cognitive counterpart.  
It was a perversion of his, observing the difference between the people around him and their cognitive version.  
Seeing how others aren't what they show reminded him of how much people were rotten, of how much he was rotten.  
"So you don't believe that everything is real is reasonable and, therefore, everything is reasonable is real"  
he asked, while stroking his chin.  
He was too curious not to decide to indulge  
Makoto, in her turn, was astonished by his sudden question.  
"No, Absolutely no... Because if everything, the spirit I mean, is reasonable, this justifies everything that happened in human History. Everything was just meant to be, do you think this is right?"  
Goro was enjoying himself more and more with each passing second.  
"Are you asking me if I believe that every dictatorships was fundamental to the development of the humankind and, therefore, the spirit? This a sensitive topic and it's difficult to give a proper answer"  
he said, trying to mantain a neutral position, hoping this would upset her.  
And it did, to the detective's joy.  
"We all should have a strong position about something like this"  
she replied, a bit irritated by the way he avoided to give a real answer.  
"I'm sorry if my answer doesn't satisfy you. Anyway" he added "I do believe in the importance of historical figures though, like Hegel did. They're fundamental to overthrow outdated structures and ideas.  
What would have been of Europe without Napoleon?  
Or do you believe human actions are meaningless?"       "What do you mean?"  
"Have you studied Schopenhauer?"  
"No, not yet, I'm sorry"  
"Oh that's a pity, I would have liked to hear your opinion about some aspects of his philosophy'"  
_As if_ , she thought to herself  
"Did Schopenhauer share Hegel's point of view?"  
At this point Makoto didn't know why she was continuing the conversation.  
She, however, had to admit these question were coming out of her so naturally she wouldn't have been able to refrain herself from making them if she had wanted to.  
"Oh, no, it's quite the opposite. Schopenhauer strongly disagree with Hegel, he also became well known for his pessimism later on. Anyhow, it's his opion about suicide that I find interesting"  
"Suicide?"  
Makoto asked, shly.  
She felt a sudden change in the mood.  
She remembered that Ren once told her he had met Goro a few times at the metro station.  
He said Akechi even came to visit him, at Le Blanche Cafè, a couple of times.  
"You should interact with him as little as possibile"  
She told him, worried for his safety.  
"What can I do? Ignore him?"  
"No, but..."  
"Plus usually Akechi is the one who keeps the conversation going, you know, he's really talktive"  
"A fundamental part of his character and cha-"  
"No no" Ren interrupted her "that's not what I mean, he doesn't act like he does during the interviews... He's..."  
Honest, she thought.  
Makoto didn't believe to what Ren had told her until now.  
She would have kept believing that wasn't possible if Goro hadn't been in front of her, wanting to talk to her about something so delicate such as suicide.  
"Yes, suicide. First of all Schopenhauer believed that humans were motivated by their own basic desires, rather than broader social trends. For Schopenhauer we are moving foreward because we all possesss a 'egoistical will of life'. He ultimately considered human action directionless, and saw desire as the root of suffering and pain.   
The only way to live peacefully was to get rid of earthly desires, of this will of life  
And do you know what is the maximum glorification of human desires?" he paused, not enough to let her answer his question "Suicide. Beacuse you don't kill yourself to go against this will of life, you put an end to your existense just because you can't reach your goals and you can't stand it. Now, Makoto-san, what are the kind of earthly holdings that can keep you from doings something so horrible? Power? Money?  
Or your family, perhaps?"  
"Uh... Well... It depends..."  
She stuttured.  
Makoto didn't know what to say and, in addition, it seemed she couldn't get the words out of her mouth in that moment.  
It didn't help how Goro was piercing her with his gaze.  
She had never seen him like this.  
He had a puzzling expression.  
His lips were tight, his eyes were vacant.  
It seemed every repressed emotion he had was about to show up.  
He seemed so hollow.  
"Oh, Sorry, I didn't want to bother you with such futile questions"  
He said abruptly, breaking the silence between the two of them.  
To Makoto it seemed it passed an eternity.  
"It's just that-"  
"No, really" he stopped her from saying anything "It doesn't matter, I was just rambling"  
He put the notebook back on her desk, while with the other hands he drew something from his pocket.  
"I just wanted to ask you if you can give this flash drive to your sister, she lent it to me a couple of days ago and I forgot to give it back to her today"  
"Oh, s-sure! No problem"  
Makoto answered, still embarassed for what had happened before.  
"I have to leave now, unfortunately I have an important appointment this evening. It was a pleasure talking with you"  
He then left as he arrived, silenty and discreetly.  
Makoto didn't have the time to realized what had just happened beacuse her phone was buzzing.  
' _hey, I was wondering if you're free this evening, I need help with some maths problems'_  
It was Ren  
_'sure, no problem_ ' she rapidly typed. She the  put her phone in her bag and left the classrool.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Goromako is been my guilty pleasure for a while now, so yeah here we are  
> I'm sorry for any grammatical mistake, unfortunately English is not my mother tongue
> 
> I wanted to explain behind Goro's behavoir a little bit more but the chapter was already so long, Hope he doesn't seem to OOC


End file.
